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68-Year-Old Swedish Woman Cries Out as 26-year-old Ugandan Lover Dumps Her

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Swedish Monalisa

Uganda witnessed an extra-ordinary wedding last year. It was between 25 year old Ronald Ssemawere popularly known to many as Guvnor Ace and Mona-Lisa Lassorn, a white lady of Swedish origin aged 70 years.

Wedding Of The Year!

The wedding took place at the High Court, Kampala and the story went viral shortly after the event, making headlines even in international media.

“Of course, most people think I married Mona-Lisa for her money. When we met, I had my own money. I was living well. True, she has her money but I love her for who she is. But we help each other financially, just like other couples do,” Guvnor told media after their wedding.

But with just months after the wedding, the couple has separated with Mona-Lisa accusing Guvnor of being a gold digger.

Following their wedding late last year, the couple had remained in Uganda until December when the Swede lady decided to take with her Guvnor to her home country for holidays.
Guvnor Ace and his Swedish wife in Sweden

Guvnor Ace and his Swedish wife in Sweden

In the first days of their arrival in Sweden, the Leone Island singer through Facebook was full of praises for Mona-Lisa and went as far as swearing he would never leave her.

But that was then. The Facebook account has since been de-activated and here is the reason.

Guvnor Runs Away From Home

Mona-Lisa spent the whole of Sunday ranting on social media. Her rants had nothing to do with the just released election results but rather Guvnor Ace.

In her broken English, she says that upon getting to Sweden, Guvnor hooked another Ugandan lady of his age and ran away from their home.

Narrating the story on social media, Mona-Lisa says that Guvnor had pleaded with her to take him to her home country in Europe and the couple left for Sweden together in December. But when she went shopping recently, she didn’t find Guvnor at home upon returning. He had apparently left together with a Ugandan lady and the duo is currently asking for political asylum in Norway.

“He and the whomen have play the game. Even she asept him to married with me to come to Europe, All the love he tell he have to me was only a play from him,” she writes on Facebook.

Mona-Lisa further says that he hasn’t left her because she doesn’t give birth but because the whole wedding was a game hatched by Guvnor as a way to get to Europe and to get money out of her.

She says he is cheap and poor just like his latest catch.
Guvnor Ace introduces Mona-Lisa to his relatives prior to their wedding

Guvnor Ace introduces Mona-Lisa to his relatives prior to their wedding

“This is a bosh man cheap and pore and his whomen is olso cheap who sup his man for mony. its not for I cant get children he left its becose he is stupid and dont care about his women. He think women is not human people. I newer se sombade so cheap in my life.”

How They Met

According to Guvnor, the couple met on Facebook! This was after he shared a video of one of his songs, Gutujja on Facebook and Mona-Lisa’s friend, Marie Jose, shared it on her page. Mona-Lisa liked it and commented, although she did not understand the language.

There were two comments on the video and hers was the first. After a tipoff from Marie that he had a new fan, he went to the comments section and sent her a friend request, which she accepted.

“You see, you first love your friends before you can have an affair with them. You cannot love your enemies. Mona-Lisa became my friend and we chatted for 11 months. In December 2014, she flew in to visit me. Our love grew after our first meeting and we started connecting,” he said told media.

Kyamutetera’s Interesting Peace Message To Besigye

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Muhereza Kyamutetera, who was once a board member and the public relations director of Fireworks, but later quit to join Corporate Image Limited as the managing director, recently wrote a rather interesting message to opposition leader Kizza Besigye.

e shared this message on his Facebook timeline and it reads;

Dear Mr. Kizza Besigye- My name is Muhereza Kyamutetera. I have been your fan and 2-time voter. I share in your recent loss and I am under deep conviction that your victory this time round has been robbed from you.

Regardless of the loss, it is important to realize that there has been a 58.3% increment in the number of Ugandans who support your cause from 2,064,965 to 3,270,290 people. Mr Museveni on the other hand, despite all the obvious advantages, the voter buying and help from the state machinery, had his support grow by a mere 3.5% from 5,428,369 in 2011 to 5,617,503 in 2016. That tells me, that no matter how much stealing and the voter buying, Mr Museveni is on the wane and it is merely a question of when and not if.

Now, I do not support your message of defiance and civil unrest during this post election period. We honestly have our personal struggles to take care of- kids to pay school fees for, mouths to feed etc. My belief is that we must keep and build on every little gain we have made under Museveni. Defiance will further breakdown the economy, scare away investors, tourists and further deepen our debacle, to the extent that one day when you finally come into power, we shall have no choice but to turn against you as well.

In my view, you should now re-focus all your energies on voter recruitment. Every year, 1 million Ugandans turn 18 years; you need to create a message of hope and give them reason to join our cause. Besides, at 59 years, you have a 12 year age advantage over Mr Museveni- there is only a limit to how much stealing he can do!!! Eventually we shall overcome.

I know there are a lot of angry Ugandans out there, who understandably will shoot at me- I will accept the bullets in good faith.

FOR GOD AND MY COUNTRY.

Do you agree with Kyamutetera?

Nantongo Winfred Apologies to Fr. Kibuuka – Archbishop Cyprian Kizito Speaks Out

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‘She has never been bedded by the Reverend Fr.’

At last, Archbishop Dr. Cyprian Kizito Lwanga has come out to clear the air about the fast spreading rumor of Fr. Kibuuka who was accused of having a sexual relationship with a one Nantongo Winnie.

This came after Winfred releasing a press statement apologizing to the entire catholic fraternity and Fr. Kibuuka for tarnishing his image. The archbishop has given the findings on investigations to the catholic community saying that, this was a plot well planned by the enemies of the church with intentions of tarnishing Fr. Kibuuka’s pastoral image.

Nantongo Apologises to Fr. Jacinto Kibuuka

Archbishop Lwanga affirmed that “while carrying out the investigations they were told by Winnie’s Mother about how Nantongo received more than 10 UGX token to confidently come up with such a story.” In his speech, Dr. Kizito vowed to expose those dangerous individuals who time after time plan ways of putting the works on the Catholic Church to shame.

Yoweri Kaguta Museveni Wins Another 5 Year Term

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Museveni Yoweri Kaguta

It is Jubilation and excitement in Uganda as the NRM Flag bearer Yoweri Kaguta Museveni wins the 2016 presidential election. The excitement comes after the NRM party’s win of 60.75% which has inflicted a heavy defeat to the rival candidate Rt. Col. Dr. Kiiza besigye who registered only 35.37%.

This win implies that Yoweri Kaguta Museveni is to rule Uganda for another term of five years up to 2021.

This has been a fourth attempt for Dr. Kiiza Besigye to rival with Yoweri kaguta Museveni for the top seat in the country and in all the attempts, the retired colonel has always been losing to Yoweri Kaguta Museveni.

After battling the NRM party for a fourth time, the FDC party under Kiiza Besigye was very sure to at least register a win in this election but its efforts have left it trailing in the second position.

Former Prime Minister, Amama Mbabazi, came third with 132,574 votes a 1.4% and Dr. Abed Bwanika followed with 0.93% of votes cast. Other contestants included former Makerere University vice chancellor, Prof. Venansius Baryamureba (0.5%), Maureen Kyalya (0.4%), Maj. Gen. Benon Biraro (0.27%) and Joseph Mabirizi (0.26%). With 15,277,198 registered voters, the 9.2 million voters who turned up for presidential elections represent 63% voter turnout.

Eng. Badru Kiggundu Set to Retire

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Eng. Badru Kiggundu has commended the electoral commission for the work well done. He says the commission tried to ensure it serves the country in spite of critics and hurdles.
Speaking at the national tally Center Namboole where he announced President Yoweri Museveni as the newly elected president of the country, Kiggundu noted that his commission had tried to ensure that it serves the country in spite of the critics and hurdles that it faced along the way.

He added that it is now up to the state to announce a new commission that will learn from the past election history of the country so as to continue with the tradition of delivering free and fair elections to the country.

The Electoral Commission led by Eng. Dr. Badru Kiggundu has officially declared its end of term in office after many years in service to the nation.

Faking Orgasms is a Disservice to Society

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Why is it that people fake orgasms when it really does not help anyone? Social conventions have made it so that even when we do not enjoy a good time we do not want to be rude. All this does is make people who are bad in bed think they are good and waste all of our time.

Have you ever been served food that makes your taste buds shrivel up but felt the need to go ‘yummm’ in order to save face? What happened the next time? The person probably served you that same decrepit mess, but an even bigger portion this time. Why is it that we pretend to like things we hate for the sake of sparing people’s feelings? It’s not just the small stuff. The same thing happens during sex.

When I was at university and trying to also come to terms with possibly failing philosophy, I started to muse about why people faked orgasms. Really, why do people do it? Is it a matter of social graces? Trying to be polite and encouraging even if the sex is awful because that’s just what nice people do? I came to no real conclusion, except to say that faking orgasms is counterproductive. This however did not stop me doing it years later, but then again everyone knows taking one’s own advice is poor etiquette.

Fast forward the many conversations and wisdom gained and this question has again reared its ugly head. Why do we keep pretending in the sack? Hooting and hollering as if the sex you’re having is the best thing since Empire. This sexual charade is widespread and knows no gender, race or religion. From the blond women on porn screens in the United States to the regions within Uganda that teach women how to ‘make encouraging sounds,’ there has for a long time been a culture of feigning fun.

There are many men who live in fear that the sounds that were made last night were not all together authentic. But then again there are scores more who believe they were.

According to sex psychologists it is not just women who are faking orgasms but men as well, and they are doing this for a whole host of reasons. Research has shown that people fake orgasms because of boredom, out of wanting to please their partner and not hurt their feelings, because an orgasm was not on the horizon, because they wanted to end the sex quickly, or because they felt they were taking too long

According to psychologists, the overarching reason most people fake orgasms is in order to adhere to a certain social script. Say you meet someone and you have a great conversation (or maybe not, sometimes a glance is enough) and jump into bed with them. The socially acceptable thing to do is to feign satisfaction. In the same way you would say ‘compliments to the chef’ after a good meal.

Even if the meal it is not satisfactory you still need to send a nice note to the kitchen saying ‘good eats guys’. We do this because we have convinced ourselves that we must not, especially as women, disrupt the social sexual order of things. Granted not everything can be magical all the time but repeatedly faking it means that we’re condoning bad sex.

According to studies, most faking takes place in relationships. Couples need to ask themselves if this is the meal they’re going to be having every night, so to speak, why does it have to be lukewarm and lacking in flavour? But most couples don’t go there simply because they don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings. What happens when 20 years later he still does that thing he thinks you like but you really hate? Think about it. That’s a lot of bad sex.

Now instead of saying ‘that could be my life’ you could simply look you partner dead in the eye and be like ‘that was probably the worst thing that has happened to me lying down. And this includes the time I got my wisdom teeth pulled out.’ Ok, maybe something more subtle and sensitive. But just do it. It could mean the difference between figuring out the number of people coming to the renewal of your vows and the number of a good divorce lawyer.

One would think that none of this would matter with one night stands but alas, it does. I hear you say: ‘Let the couples deal with their sexual shenanigans when they come together.’ But think of it this way: much as any STIs and STDs you carry could affect your future partner, the same goes for bad sex. If you keep pretending, you send the person back out into the world with a false sense of security and a flawed set of skills. You’re not doing anyone any favours. Even though we live in a sexed up world the number of people having orgasms are far lower than they should be. The world needs more real orgasms not fewer.

With social media the courting process has been reduced to swiping left or right or clicking follow/add friend. Even a double tap on Instagram could get you a little something something. No longer do we have to wait an extended period of time to get a little coitus which means that hook ups have gone from ‘slow roast’ to ‘microwave’. There is no time for bad sex and we have to be honest with each other. As one of my friends said about her sexual partner, “I am judging you like a roman emperor.” Don’t let whoever you hook up with go out there and be judged harshly. Think of it as a customer service survey.

If your cell phone provider calls you and asks you how their service is, and you know you haven’t had an internet connection in three days and your phone calls keep getting cut off, what do say? If you do the polite thing and say ‘great’ you will have done all future customers a great wrong. We cannot be a world of people faking customer service surveys and secretly complaining about it to friends. We have to move society forward through innovation and feedback. One can say, to some extent, enjoying sex is our civic duty.

Uganda Government Shuts Down the Internet: Here is How to Beat It

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In the wake of today’s presidential elections in Uganda, the government has shut down social media platforms especially most especially Facebook and Twitter as well as WhatsApp. This has been done in a bid to discourage any sharing of information concerning the ongoing elections in the country. It should be noted cheats and mal parctices have marred the Ugandan 2016 elections with some areas receiving voting materials as late as 2.00PM yet these are some of the opposition held areas.

When we tried to contact the Uganda Communications Commission, this is the report we received. We can justify why the government has issued a directive to all internet service providers to block access to social media platforms.

However neither have telecom giants MTN and AIRTEL UGANDA come out to explain the move.

What is Left for Ugandans

So far there are several ways through which you can still access the social media platforms;

  1. YOU CAN USE VODAFONE INTERNET AS ITS NOT LOCKED or SIMPLY USE VPN ACCESS SOFTWARE ON BOTH YOUR ANDROID SMART PHONES OR DOWNLOAD ON YOUR COMPUTER
  2. You can install VPN on your computer or android phone. Here is the list of some you can use (https://www.tunnelbear.com for PC and Android or VPN Proxy Unlimited (Unblock for Android)

Tonix’s Girlfriend Robs $10,000 from Sheila Gashumba

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Sheila Gashumba who had took off a holiday in Dubai for her birthday was amused when she returned back in her hotel room only to find $10,000 missing from her money pursue.

Sheila is quoted via a phone conversation;
“I went with this girl (Sharne Natukunda) together with other friends to Dubai for a short holiday to celebrate my birthday, I booked for her a room near me as i was funding the whole trip.So Sharne used the opportunity when i was out of my room,she sneaked in and stole my money then later fled to Abu Dhabi which is a 2 hours travel from our hotel”.So far its of no surprise to her friends that i have called,Sharne happens to steal money from her friends something i got to know when all her friends revealed to me. But she is going to pay my money back,have already called the police at Entebbe airport and they will arrest her immediately she lands

Tonix has already been notified about the saga and [of course] he is saying that his girl is ain’t a thief. However, Tonix was surprised given that he didn’t even know that Sharne went to Dubai! Tonix claims that she had flown to Nairobi for a few days.

“Just imagine this was her first flight funded by me,that b***ch stole our our money and she will pay“,an angry sheila added.

Unveiling Uganda’s UNESCO World Heritage Sites

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Uganda the pearl Africa is located in east Africa and blessed with a variety of outstanding and exclusive tourist attractions. The country is truly gifted by nature and it was on such grounds that the United Nations education scientific and cultural organization (UNESCO) came up to identify those unique wildlife and cultural tourism destination that offer once in a life time tourism experiences. Out of the major tourism destinations, three were identified and these indeed offer incredible Uganda safari experiences and makes tourists to appreciate the true beauty of Uganda. The three heritage sites include the following;

Bwindi Impenetrable National Park

Located in southwestern Uganda, Bwindi National Park is a home to the most endangered primate species the – mountain gorillas. Mountain gorillas are primates in the apes’ family that live in the forested mountains. They are covered with black fur, are vegetarians that feed on plant leaves, bamboo shoots and wild fruits. They live in groups that range from 10 to 30 and are led by the dominant male mountain gorilla called a silverback.

The total mountain gorilla population on earth is estimated at 900 and Bwindi impenetrable forest national park has 450 mountain gorillas, which is half of the total population.

Bwindi has 11 habituated mountain gorilla groups each visited by a group of 8 tourists every day, which they spend with one hour. The mountain gorilla groups in Bwindi are distributed in three major areas that include the Buhoma sector, which is the most visited area. The Buhoma sector has three mountain gorilla groups – the Habinyanja gorilla group with 17 mountain gorillas, the Mubare group with 8 mountain gorillas and the Rushegura group with 19 members.

The Ruhija sector of Bwindi also has three gorilla groups – the Bitukura group with 14 mountain gorillas, the Kyaguriro group with 15 mountain gorillas and the Oruzogo group with 25 mountain gorillas.

Lastly the southern part of Bwindi has five habituated mountain gorilla groups – the Busingye group with 9 mountain gorillas, the Bweza group with 9 mountain gorillas, the Kahungye group with 13 mountain gorillas, the Mishaya group with 12 mountain gorillas, the Nkuringo group with 19 mountain gorillas and the Nshongi group with 26 mountain gorillas.

Bwindi impenetrable national park is the best destination for mountain gorilla tracking worldwide and getting there from Kampala, Uganda’s capital city takes about a 9 to 10 hours drive through the beautiful countryside of Uganda.

The Kasubi Tombs

This is an outstanding cultural and heritage site situated in Kampala district. The Kasubi tombs are ceremonial burial grounds for the Buganda kings. The Buganda kingdom is the strongest and still active kingdom in Uganda. The kingdom covers central Uganda and up to today the local people strongly holds on to the local traditions. Muteesa 1 was the first Buganda king who was buried at the tombs and later Kabaka Mwanga, Edward Muteesa II and Daudi Chwa II were also buried here. The tombs are situated just a few meters from Kampala city center and were constructed using local material including thatch and mud.

The Kasubi tomb is a unique UNESCO cultural heritage sites and it’s the best place to learn more about the unique traditional cultures of Buganda kingdom.

Mount Rwenzori National Park

The Rwenzori Mountains are also known as the mountains of the moon and are located in the western part of Uganda. The Rwenzori Mountains have the third highest peak on the continent – mount Stanley that stands 16,762 meters above sea level.

The mountain is the major tourist attraction but there are many more wildlife attractions including the rare three-horned chameleon (Johnson’s chameleon), unique montane vegetation, a number of birds including those endemic to the Albertine rift, forest elephants, giant forest hogs and many others. The Rwenzori mountains national park is a UNESCO world heritage that is very worth visiting.

Over 20 Revelers Drown in Lake Victoria During X-Mas Festive Season

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Over 20 revelers who had raided several beaches on the shores of Lake Victoria in Entebbe during the Christmas season didn’t return home to share their happiness and joy.

This follows after they drowned in several beaches including Sports Beach, Lido, Spennah and Aero Beach where they had travelled to happen and chill during the festive season.

The bodies were discovered by the beach patrol security who saw the bodies floating on the beach shores in pajamas in the wee hours of the night on boxing day (Saturday) and in the early morning hours on Sunday and Monday. Sources from the beach indicate that so far 16 bodies have been retrieved from the lake and that there could still be more.

The revelers ate lots of fried fish and guzzled booze non-stop and partied hard in the lake like the world was ending tomorrow. Police picked up the bodies and delivered them to Mulago Hospital mortuary where the deceased’s relatives are picking them. All the deceased are male.

Beach staff in shock after spotting body floating on lake shores

The Entebbe International Airport police O/C Station Gloria Turinawe confirmed the incident and indicated that police will hold a meeting with beach operators to find a way forward.

It is very unfortunate that those who had travelled to the beach to enjoy their Christmas have died. We are going to hold a meeting with all beach operators to ensure that such an incident doesn’t happen again. We have to introduce strict laws to safe guard the lives of those who party in the lake. We want to ensure that by 6pm no one is partying in the beach waters. Turinawe stated.

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