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6 Lies Your MUBS Girlfriend Is Telling You

By Staff Writer

I don’t trust MUBS chics. We all don’t trust them. In fact, when Chris Brown was singing his “hoes aint loyal” song, it’s MUBS babes that he was singing about. Over time we’ve noticed that MUBS babes keep telling their boyfriends a number of lies. We’ve decided to compile the top 6 lies.

You’re probably thinking, “This is just a (poorly executed) comedic exaggeration”. You’re thinkin’, “Haha not MY girlfriend!” Yes, YOUR girlfriend. As a matter of fact, ESPECIALLY your girlfriend, Brian.

Don’t get it twisted. Dig for the harsh truth and you’ll find it. Stop accepting deception and dishonesty. Here are lies that your MUBS girlfriend has told you.

1. I’ve Only Slept With X Amount Of People This is a classic female fabrication by those cheats at MUBS. Whatever your girl’s body count is, multiply it by 11 and you got the real number. So if she says 2, it’s 22. If she says 5, it’s 55. If she says 25, it’s 275 dicks. She’s got tons of sexual skeletons in her closet. She tells you she boinked her long-term ex, but she won’t mention the foursome she had at Bible Camp, or the time she blew Junior at that Phaneroo fellowship

2. I’ve Never Cheated On You You can’t trust people these days. Even if your chick is a bible-humping borderline nun who goes to church 19 times a week and waited 7 months to even give you an over-the-pants handy, she has ruffled the sheets with at least one other person. You know that guy friend she tells you not to worry about? They banged. You know that math teacher she thought was cute? They banged. Remember when she met your uncle at KCCA festival in 2014? Oh, they definitely banged.

3. I am having Tests Ohhhh goooooooddddnesss…. like do MUBS chics have tests every now and again. Please refer to lie number 2. Every time she says she’s having tests, rest assured they are happening under some bedsheets somewhere in Valleycourts hostel.

4. I am not at Hostel, don’t come If you believe this lie, then I am sorry to say, you shouldn’t even be dating a MUBS chic. Where else then would she be on a Monday evening? Home? No. She’s of course at hostel but she’s hosting her future prospect and she’s saving you from a collision.

5. I didn’t fart You know that awkward moment when someone farts in a room and everyone holds their nose (including the fartee). Yes, now imagine it’s only you and your MUBS chic in the room and she lets out those silent smelly farts made up of kikomando, egg roll, sausages. Then when you wonder who’s farted, she says she’s not the one. So who the hell just farted? Oba why do MUBS chics pretend like they don’t fart.

6. I am about to reach Please please, if you call a MUBS babe and ask where she is and she says she’s about to reach. Kindly go to Mbarara, visit your grandmother and come back, you will still arrive before she has reached. That’s how dishonest they are. She will tell you she’s stuck in jam, simanya I am about to reach but in truth, she will still be servicing her lecturer who gave her a retake.

Share some of those lies your MUBS girlfriends have told you..

 

The post 6 Lies Your MUBS Girlfriend Is Telling You appeared first on Campus Eye.

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